My name's Amman. And this is my Blog.

The Journey of a Lifetime. My Pilgrimage.

It wasn’t just the literal 3,000 mile journey that I undertook to the cities of Makkah and Medina, it was more of a metaphorical and spiritual journey which not only cleanses ones soul of all its previous inhibitions but also frees one’s mind of all life’s’ worries. For the nine nights that I spent in the two holiest cities in the world, I was a nomad lost in a world of my own. Pure bliss.
As I set off from my home wrapped in nothing but two White sheets, part of the state of ‘Ihram’ (which a Pilgrim must be in when making the journey to the Holy Kaaba Mosque) I found it difficult to harness my emotions, often on the verge of tears, specifically when remembering my two young cousins wishing me farewell.

In Islam, we are taught that the devil is with us at the best of times and is constantly trying to tempt us into sin. Whilst in the state of Ihram this increased tenfold. At first I didn’t think I was affected by it; however slowly but surely circumstances began to arise which would normally cause me to change my behaviour. Whether it be an ignorant traveller ramming his trolley in the back of my foot, the airport staff who seemingly have no common sense when organising hundreds of travellers into just one queue, or the 5’10” blonde in a short skirt and flip-flops in the corner of my eye; all these situations would normally cause me to lose my temper, utter some expletives, and double-take, respectively. Instead I spoke the words “Labbayk Allahumma Labbayk. Labbayk Ala Shareeka Lakalabayk. Innalhamda Wa Ni’Amata Lakawalmulk. La Shareekalak” – ‘I respond to Your call, O Allah I respond to Your call. I respond to Your call, You have no partner. I respond to Your call. Indeed, the praise and grace are yours as well as sovereignty. You have no partner.’

Upon landing at Jeddah, we had to get a taxi 60 miles east to Makkah. Now, bearing in mind that fuel there is around 8p per Litre, we weren’t expecting to pay much. My father found a local taxi driver (big mistake) who agreed a fare of 250 Riyals (just over £40), however the driver was of the opinion that driving from one terminal to another terminal (which was just ten minutes away from one another) to pick myself and my mother up, would mean that the fare would be 500 Riyals. A lot of arguing back and forth in English and Arabic did neither of us any good, we ended up having the hotel porter be the intermediary between us in a heated exchange; eventually we agreed a fee of 350 Riyals. Unfortunately this is normal to expect of Arab taxi drivers, and without sensationalising too much- it is normal to expect from the majority of the Saudi’s whether they are those in authority or whether they are workers; there is a waft of arrogance and the feeling that they are better than all others, and the condescension towards non-Arabs- especially Pakistani and Bengali workers is atrocious.

The outside of the Holy Mosque

A few hours later, after we had checked in, refreshed and eaten, it was time to actually start my Umrah pilgrimage. Luckily for us, our hotel was directly in front of the mosque, so we stepped out and could see the actual mosque itself. You really have to see it for yourself to realise the enormity of the building. It can hold between four to six million people at one time, mostly when cramming in its grounds every year in the Hajj period. Looking up and walking closer to the mosque, I and other pilgrims around me recited the words “Labbayk Allahumma Labbayk…”

It is said that the first time you set your eyes on the Kaaba you should have it in full view with nothing hindering your vision, and the first prayer that you make will come true. I say with no shame that the first time I went on Umrah when I was 11 years old and first saw the Kaaba, I uncontrollably broke down in tears. This time, I really didn’t know what to expect. Eyes down, I entered the Mosque with my right foot first, saying “Allahumma aftahli abwaba rahmatika (O Allah, open to me the gates of Your mercy).” The nearer I approached the Kaaba I kept thinking what it was I was going to ask for from God; what it was that I wanted most. Success in finding a good job? To forever keep me safe and in the company of good friends? To find a woman who can make a worthy wife? I kept on thinking, changing my choice with each step that I took- when finally my mother told me that we finally reached a position where the Kaaba is in full view, she implored me to look up. Having lost control of my emotions so easily the first time I went on Pilgrimage, I chose to take a few steps further towards the Kaaba, mainly to buy myself some more time to ready myself for what I was about to see and what I was going to pray for first. My eyes fixed to the marble floor, I shut them tight, raised my head and opened them once more to gaze at the Holy Kaaba. My mind goes blank. I try to think of at least one of the many things that I was pondering over before, yet it’s gone- lost. There I am, silent. In awe of what stood before me. This cube-shaped building which was first built by the Prophet Ibrahim عليه السلام (Abraham), the most sacred site in Islam. The site where over a billion people prostrate themselves towards every single day. The same site that, if you show a picture of to any person in the world, would identify it to Islam. And I was right there. “Allah Hu Akbar” (Allah the Great) I started reciting, more times than I can remember. Eventually I knew what it was that I wanted to pray for. I realised it was no good looking at the smaller picture, the ‘here and now’ so to speak; there’s no use praying for my immediate welfare when my future is somewhat in the balance. The perfect prayer came to mind. Something, that if it was to be the only prayer of mine to be granted, then I would be more than content. “Rabbana atina fid-dunya hasanatan wa fil ‘akhirati hasanatan waqina ‘adhaban-nar”- Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter, and save us from the chastisement of the fire. 

View from the roof

The actual ‘Umrah’ itself did not in fact take that long. It requires a ‘Tawaaf’ around the Kaaba, which is to circulate the Kaaba in an anti-clockwise direction seven times. This gave me plenty of time to pray, not only for myself, but for the many friends and family who asked for certain prayers to be made in their name, in the sacred house of God. To have attempted to try and touch the Kaaba at this point wasn’t really an option considering I didn’t want to leave my mother alone with thousands of other pilgrims pushing and jostling to get nearer to the Kaaba themselves. “Another time” I thought, Insha’Allah. After the Tawaaf is done, it is required to pray behind the ‘Maqam Ibrahim’- the ‘Station of Abraham’ which is a metal enclosure with what is said to be an imprint of the Prophet Ibrahim’s (عليه السلام) foot. It is said that he stood on this stone during the construction of the upper parts of the Kaaba, where he raised his son Ismail عليه السلام on his shoulders to reach the upper parts of the Kaaba. After which the only thing left to do is the ‘Sa’ee’ which is where Pilgrims must walk back and forth between the two mountains Safa and Marwah. The significance of this of course is to emulate what the Prophet Ibrahim’s (عليه السلام ) wife Hajra (Hagar as she is known in the Bible) did running back and forth between the two mountains to search for water for her son Ismail. Pilgrims must walk seven times from one mountain to the other. Around 450 metres separates the two, so in total- one must walk just under two miles. Walking, and at some points between the mountains- running, on a marble floor with fans blowing cold air around us, surrounded by vast containers of ZamZam water was, for the able-bodied, pretty straightforward. It is utterly inconceivable to think how a mother, in the blistering heat of an Arabian desert could run between the two mountains with no water in sight, having no choice but to abandon her son in the middle of the desert. We definitely had it easy. 

And then it was done. Alhamdulillah. I had completed my Pilgrimage. It felt good. It felt real. What made it more real was when I had to shave my hair off. Though not obligatory, it is ‘Sunnah’ (the way of the Prophet Mohammed ﷺ) to cut ones hair after pilgrimage. For some reason when I first told people I was going on Umrah, one of the first things I was asked was “but does that mean you’re going to come back with no hair?” I blame myself and my own vanity for this response that I got! I can report that the barber had no sympathy or remorse when taking his clippers to my head, taking no less than a minute to shave all my hair off. It was a sad time.

During the next five days in Makkah I fully made the most of my time there, only going back to the hotel to eat and sleep. Waking up to pray the morning Fajr prayer was easy, in stark contrast to my every day routine back home. I did numerous Tawaaf’s around the Kaaba, I prayed ‘Nafl’ prayers on behalf of my friends and family, I read the Holy Quran in the Holy Mosque whilst drinking the Holy Water. Alhamdulillah, I even managed to touch the Holy Kaaba itself a few times which was something I felt had to be done considering the first time I came on Umrah I got nowhere near close enough. The first time was by sheer luck: I planned to just circle the Kaaba before the afternoon Asr prayer but the security guards started ushering (ordering) people to sit down as the Azan (call to prayer) would be happening very soon. So I, with the opportunistic grin on my face, sat down with hundreds of others, second row from the front of the Kaaba. I knew this was my chance, so the next 20-25 minutes I spent plotting my route, estimating how many people would get up to rush first, which security guards I had to bypass, how nimble on my feet I had to be to avoid standing on anyone’s hands/feet/heads- feeling more of a stealth operation than a holy call. As soon as the prayer ended, I ran forward with ease, and planted both hands and my head high on the glorious wall of the Kaaba whilst reciting any prayer I could think of and praying for any person I could think of. No less than a minute later, I felt hundreds of people pushing and fighting to touch the Kaaba. With people digging into my back, and my legs being crushed into the marble base of the Kaaba- it was time to get out of there, but I wasn’t done praying. Luckily the previous weeks spent doing squats and calf raises in the gym were, after all, of some use as I managed to hold people back with my legs. Another couple of minutes at the wall of the Kaaba, it was somebody else’s turn to experience what I had just felt. Alhamdulillah, now that I knew how simple it was to get to the front, I repeated the above tactics for the next few days, getting to the door as well on one occasion. All part of the experience. All part of the magic.

The door of the Kaaba- “Multazim”

The Cities of Makkah and Medina provide one with great happiness and renewed faith. They are the lands of our Prophets Ibrahim عليه السلام and Mohammed ﷺ but unfortunately it is also the land of ‘Bid’ah’ (‘Innovation’). Bid’ah within Islam is considered a sin. In Islamic law, the term ‘bid’ah’, used loosely, denotes any newly invented matter that is without precedent and is in opposition to the Qur’an and Sunna. As the Prophet Mohammed ﷺ is considered, amongst Muslims, to be ultimately the greatest human being and thereby the greatest role model, some argue that things that the Prophet ﷺ did not specifically perform or confirm, are acts of bid’ah. Although ‘bid’ah’ has often been the butt of many jokes between my friends and I, for example- saying that having the Quran on an iPhone is bid’ah because the Prophet ﷺ never read the Quran on an iPhone- or Android for that matter, it is in fact a very serious issue. The Prophet Mohammed ﷺ said “So whoever innovates in it a heresy (something new in religion) or commits a crime in it or gives shelter to such an innovator, will incur the curse of Allah, the angels and all the people.”

Masjid-e-Nabwi- The Mosque of the Prophet

However, I am of the opinion, as are many others, that the Saudi Arabian Royal family since establishing the country as a Kingdom post-1932 have taken an extreme stance on bid’ah in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, but most importantly in the cities of Makkah and Medina. During my time in both cities, I saw Mosque Officials and Mutaween (religious police) stop people from praying near certain objects such as the ‘Maqam Ibrahim’ (footprint of Prophet Ibrahim عليه السلام) because they were crying at the same time. Their reason? “Bid’ah!”, they shouted- and hurried them away. What is even more disturbing, however, is the disregard the Saudi government has for history. As I sat in the Masjid-e-Nabwi (The Prophet Mohammed’s ﷺ mosque in Medina) and got talking to a man from Banbury, we realised just how little is left of the Prophet ﷺ, his companions, their property, etc. It’s estimated that about 95% of Makkah’s historic buildings, most over a thousand years old, have been demolished. These include the mosque originally built by Mohammed’s daughter Fatima (ra), and other mosques founded by Abu Bakr (ra) (Prophet Mohammed’s father-in-law and the first Caliph), Umar (ra) (the second Caliph) and Ali (ra) (Prophet Mohammed’s son-in-law who was also his cousin, and the fourth Caliph). Over the last 50 years around 300 historic sites linked to Mohammed ﷺ, his family or companions have been lost. It has been reported that there now are fewer than 20 structures remaining in Makkah that date back to the time of Mohammed ﷺ. I can’t fault the Saudis completely however, they have kept the two Mosques in absolutely beautiful condition with some of the architecture preserved from the era of the Ottoman Empire in the 1500’s, and extending the mosque, and adding better facilities to it to make it easier for the ever-increasing Muslim population. But it’s a shame that what once was- is no longer, and all because of an ideology, in my opinion, taken completely out of context.

It wasn’t just in the two Holy Mosques that I spent my time. I ventured out to visit the place where the Prophet ﷺ received his first revelation of the Quran from the Angel Gabriel in Cave Hira where he meditated at the time; I visited the battleground where the Battle of Uhud was fought; but for me the place outside of the two holy mosques, that I wanted to visit most was Masjid-al-Qiblatain which is the Mosque where the Prophet ﷺ, mid prayer,  was commanded to change the direction of prayer (qibla) from the Al Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem to the Kaaba Mosque in Makkah. Praying in this historical mosque is a feeling that will definitely last with me a long time.

 

The tomb of the Prophet Mohammed ﷺ

People have often said to me that when they return from their Pilgrimage they leave their heart behind. I can testify to that. I’ve been back just over a week and I long to go back again. So much so, that after feeling the emptiness of not praying in congregation, I went to the Mosque to pray the Maghrib prayer. It definitely wasn’t the same. So Inshallah- God Willing- I’ll be called back again. Until then, I think I’ve got just about enough memories to keep me going.

 

Amman

 

The method behind my madness. A brighter future for millions.

When people think of me, there are many things that come to their mind, however no matter how long that list may be, being a fervent campaigner for a healthcare Charity would hardly be at the very top.

However, I want to take a little time to explain to people why it is that I am clogging up their News Feed, Timelines and well-earned lunch breaks with information about cost of medical supplies, healthcare in developing countries, fundraising events, and other charity-related utterance.

A little over 18 months ago, myself and a few like-minded individuals established a Charity whose vision it is to provide free medical attention to the poor and needy in an area where the system of healthcare would be considered, to some extent or degree, a sick joke in the Western World.

The area in question is the City of Gujar Khan, located near Rawalpindi, Pakistan. Let not the last census of the area fool you; Gujar Khan and it’s surrounding towns inhabit over a million people whose nearest emergency hospital lies over 50 kilometres and a two hour bus ride away. Residents can ill afford decent healthy meals let alone a car.

Hospital Construction- January 2011

Over £250,000 has thus far been raised since the inception of the Project, however as with any Charity that wants to establish longevity, to continue to meet it’s aims, there can never be enough funds raised.

By providing a primary care service, not only will we be able to provide healthcare for the majority of people who would normally have to resort to costly and often unnecessary specialist healthcare, but to those who have no other recourse than to gamble on dangerous alternatives sanctioned by unlicensed local ‘doctors.’ More information on the healthcare crisis in Pakistan can be found on our Website.

On March 9 2012 Azmat Welfare Foundation is holding a fundraiser to raise much needed funds for the Project. I hope this information has provided people with an idea of why I campaign so heavily for this cause. There is always method to my madness.

More information on the upcoming event can be found on our Facebook page.

Donate:
People can donate Online, via Text Message or Bank Transfer (details which can be provided on the email address below. 

Contact: amman@azmat.org

Azmat Welfare Foundation is a charity registered in England and Wales (no. 113 7683)